THIS ARTICLE ORIGINALLY appeared in the February 5th, 2009 issue of Rolling Stone.
Artie Lange, the 300-pound, 41-year-old sidekick to Howard Stern, is one of the most complicated, crass and insecure comedians working today — and one of the most successful. He makes a ton of dough: $700,000 per year at Sirius XM and about $3 million a year on the stand-up circuit. Too Fat to Fish, his memoir, is on the New York Times bestseller list. Random House has already signed up his next book for $800,000
There’s only one problem: Lange is a carousing, overeating, drugged-up mess who can’t handle the mundane details of life, like keeping a girlfriend, cooking, cleaning or even getting an e-mail account. “Every single aspect of my life is totally fucked, other than work,” says Lange. “Without my career, you couldn’t find a bigger loser.”
